Saturday, April 21, 2012

STARBUGS



This week's news included the revelation that Starbucks uses crushed beetles as a red food coloring in some of their menu items.  Yum. 

MAMA TOLD ME NOT TO CHUG
(To the tune of  "Mama Told Me Not To Come," by Three Dog Night and/or Randy Newman, your choice.)

Want some insects in your coffee
Crumpets with your fleas
What's all these crazy questions they askin' me?
This is the weirdest tastin' beverage
To ooze from a teabag
Don't turn on the lights, 'cos I don't wanna gag

Mama told me not to chug
Mama told me not to chug
That ain't the way to have bugs, no

Took a look inside my venti
Lots of legs I saw a squirmin'
Musta been eighteen or twenty on that tasty little vermin
Caterpillar cappuccino, please
Topped off with half-and-half
Don't like my bugs too wired so let's make it a decaf

Mama said, don't bring my mug
Mama said, don't bring my mug
That ain't the place to have bugs, son
That ain't the place to have bugs, son

Hey barista, lemme ask ya
What's this fly doin' in my chai
"I think the backstroke," as she stroked me on the thigh
Please don't distract me
While I scrutinize my tall
Mosquito macchiato?
Hell, now guess I seen it all

Mama told me not to chug
Mama told me not to chug
That ain't the way to have bugs, no
That ain't the way to have bugs, no...

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Best parody I could come up with lately (after hearing Lesley Gore singing "Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows" on a spot advertisement on The Ellen Degeneres Show). Sorry if it's not quite PC (or maybe it is).

Johnny's Turn To Cry

'Cause now, it's Johnny's turn to cry,
Johnny's turn to cry,
Johnny's turn to cry,
Cause Judy's gone Bi,
With me!

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This thread is brought to you by Schrodinger, Pavlov, Romney, and Obama, the Animal Rights Legal Defense Firm. Vigorous Defense for animal experimentation, cheap and convenient animal transportation, and People Eating Tasty Animals (PETA).

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