Friday, March 4, 2011


Charlie Sheen's hit CBS sitcom may have to go on without him.

(To the tune of the Monkees' "Daydream Believer")

Oh I recline
In the den
Flip on "Two and a Half Men"
The sitcom's gonna start, one of the best

It's not on
Wonder why?
Hear the star's out getting high
And wants to sue the pants off CBS

Wake up Charlie Sheen
Dump the porno queen
You're a way freakin' tweaker
And a stoned cocaine fiend

You once were on top
Now you pee into a cup
Full of piss and bluster, saving face

Drop the ho
Stop the blow
Heed your bro Emilio
And stall your sad freefall from (Will and) Grace

Wake up Charlie Sheen
Dump the porno queen
She's got umpteen diseases
And you need to stay clean

Wake up Charlie Sheen
Dump the porno queen
You're a spousal abuser
And a user extreme...

(Vocal coming soon!)

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Catherine said...

This is too funny, stubbs - you're the best. I actually had Daydream Believer playing while I read it, to be sure I had the full effect. Fabulous!

Sad story, but too bizarre not to make fun.

Anonymous said...

Davy Jones: Which Chuck Lorre Vanity Card is this from, mates?

Rest of The Monkees: Seven A.

Anonymous said...

I'm looking forward to that vocal, stubbleyou. Get it out there before the story dies down, and Charlie and Chuck make up for the show's sake.

stubbleyou said...

I know, it's because I'm short, isn't it, anon? ;-)

I think I'm too LTTG on this one, tho I had a second Mr. Sheen song just about done too. But timing is everything.

Anonymous said...

I had trouble not singing it to 'Ain't She Sweet' but once I finally got the nostalgic "Daydream Believer" going, it was smooth sailing!(I'd like to request more Monkees songs:) Audrey