Egg Rolls, Fried Rice

("Big Girls Don't Cry." My worst song yet!)



Egg rolls, fried rice
Egg rolls, fried rice

Egg rolls, fried ri-yi-yice
(Egg fried rice)
Egg rolls, fried rice
(Who had the egg fried rice?)

My girl said let's ee-ee-eat
(Chi-inese)
I said, my treat
(I'm so darn sweet)

(Silly girl)
Shame on you said mama-san
(Silly girl)
You didn't eat all your wonton
(Silly girl)
Then she said, I'll pack your sides
Egg rolls, fried rice

Egg rolls, fried ri-yi-yice
(Egg fried rice)
Egg rolls, fried rice
(Who had the egg fried rice?)

(Trumpet solo)

Lady, hold the MSG
(Allergies)
Low salt for me
(No MSG)

(Spilled the soy)
Told my girl we had to take out
(Spilled the soy)
Thought that she might wanna make out
(Spilled the soy)
While we watch "Shanghai Surprise"
Egg rolls, fried rice

Egg rolls, fried ri-yi-yice
(Egg fried rice)
Who had fried rice?
(I won't be askin' twice)

Egg rolls, fried rice
Egg rolls, fried rice...



(Come back soon for bad vocal!)


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A Little Trick with Nick

Gouveia vay-uh, bo bay-uh
Banana fanna fo fay-uh
Fee fie mo may-uh
Gouveia


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Medley: Hey/Miss Saigon

("Stay"/"Let's Hang On")



(click here for my cheesy karavocal:)




Hey hey
Miss Lea Salonga
Please please please please please
Tell me that me that it ain't wronga
Oh now your Tony's so fine
And your voice is sublime
Won't you do a little dance for me
Just a one more time

Oh won't you play
Miss Lea Salonga
Tease tease tease tease tease
Tell me that you're gonna...

---------------

There ain't no good in our so longin'
So I'll put it in my songin'
Where it's belongin'

Miss Saigon
You're so darn hot
Don't you go girl
You're what I want
You're a hottie Filipina
Saigon, Saigon, Saigon
You're what I want
(Doo doop, doo doop, doo doop)

You say you're gonna go and quit our fun
You're gonna leave the show
You're gonna end our run
Don't bring the curtain down
My smile's a hurtin' frown
Baby, baby, baby
Stay-yay

Miss Saigon
You're so darn hot
Don't you go girl
You're what I want
You're a hottie Filipina
Saigon, Saigon, Saigon
You're what I want
(Doo doop, doo doop, doo doop)


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A Quickie

("Candy Girl")

They've been a searchin' oh so near and far
Now finally they've found their
Candide star
Candide star

They...found them a star
Jer-ersey Boys'...Daniel Reichard
To croon them
And swoon them
With Leonard Bernstein

He's theirs (theirs)
Voltaire's
Whoa-wo-oh wo-oh
Candide star...

(mediocre vocal coming tomorrow - check back!)


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haikrewe

you're giving me brown
i see sky blue azure seas
are you color blind


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Too hard to be PG, too soft to be R...

("Can't Take My Eyes Off You")



(Click here for my cheesy karavocal:)




Your chest's too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off your boobs
You've got a heavenly bust
I've got to hold down my lust
All that elastic's alright
But when those stars come out at night
Your chest's too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off your boobs

Pardon the way that I stare
At your spectacular pair
The sight of you leaves me mute
They are so perky and cute
And if you'd cop me a feel
Please let me know if they're real
Your chest's too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off your boobs

I love your cleavage
I'm standing here in awe
I love your cleavage
You in your wonderbra
I love your cleavage
Trussed in your lingerie
Oh pretty baby
Jump up and down I pray
Oh pretty baby
I love your bounce and sway
And let your jugs move, baby
Let your jugs move....

Your chest's too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off your boobs
You've got a heavenly bust
I've got to hold down my lust
All that elastic's alright
But when those stars come out at night
Your chest's too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off your boobs

I love your cleavage
I'm standing here in awe
I love your cleavage
You in your push-up bra
I love your cleavage
Trussed in your bustier
Oh pretty baby
Jump up and down I pray
Oh pretty baby
I love your bounce and sway
And let your jugs move, baby
Let your jugs move....

Your chest's too good to be true!!!!


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When Frankie Met Tommy: The Early Days

I ain't his little brother. But he taught me all about women. He was always there for me whenever I needed any, you know -- condoms.

(My Brother's Wise - to the tune of "My Mother's Eyes")

One guy named Tommy D
He took a shine to me
And I learned at my
Brother's side

From the first day I met him
He told me about romance
But all I cared about was gettin'
In Mary Delgado's pants

One bright red Belvedere
Might help me get in there
So I borrowed my
Brother's ride

Just like a high school teacher
He showed me the writing on the wall
Said sooner or later or I'd reach her
But she's gonna bust my balls

Some guys, they fear Tamooch
But to me he's a big galoot
Gaetano,
My brother's wise.

(You can sing along with me here - but remember - you've been warned. And don't worry - I ain't quittin' my day job.)






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New York, Big Apple, and N.Y.

A song for Nick...(to the tune of "Apple of My Eye")





On Broadway
I wanna be on Broadway
I'm tired of the roadway
New York, Big Apple and N.Y.

I'm touring
I'm always always touring
It's getting really boring
New York, Big Apple and N.Y.

Packing, unpacking
Jumping through lots of hoops
Think it's time I started
Forming my own group

I-I-I-I hate it
I really really hate it
I wanna be sedated
New York, Big Apple and N.Y.

Laundry? Never
Underwear starts to stink
Once I found my roommate
Pissin' in the sink

It's closer
He said that it was closer
That a-hole's such a hoser
New York, Big Apple and N.Y.
New York, Big Apple and N.Y.
New York
Big Apple
And N.Y.


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If you don't know the original, or even if you do, here is an awesome video of it via the phenomenal Jersey Boys Blog.
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(And if you want to hear me sing my version, cover your ears and click here. Don't say you weren't warned.)







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