TOP TEN SCRIPT AND SONG CHANGES FOR JERSEY BOYS, FAR EAST STYLE

In a recent article mentioned on the omniscient Jersey Boys Blog about the Chicago production of JB closing Sunday, January 10, mention was made that the set was being packed up for possible transport to Germany or the Far East. Work has already begun on the rewrites that would be necessary for some of the lines and songs when the show gets to the Far East. Here's an insider's sneak peek:



10. They already gave you up, lychee nuts.


9. Oh me, oh me, oh my-oh my-nah
Did some time in Canton, Ohio China


8. "Bye-Bye Beijing, Beijing Good-Bye"


7. DelgadO. CastellucciO. Kung paO.


6. "Wok Like A Man(darin)"


5. I'm gonna be bigger than Yao Ming.
--Only if you stand on the Great Wall.


4. "(I Want A) Shanghai Kind Of Love"


3. They're like a pair of, whaddyacallit, Swedish twins. (Tiger Woods reference; ya gotta keep it current. Plus which, they love him over there.)


2. So now I got war wonton all over me again.


AND THE NUMBER ONE JERSEY BOYS SONG REWRITTEN FOR THE FAR EAST (AND THE ONLY ONE COMPLETED) (AND THE LEADING CANDIDATE FOR WORST LYRICS EVER IN A SONG PARODY):


1. "Egg Rolls, Fried Rice", (to the tune of "Big Girls Don't Cry")




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Get back on the bus, Gus.

Bob Gaudio and Chuck Berry, together again...
















Long distance transportation
Get me Memphis, Tennessee
Help me find the hottie
Tried to get in touch with me
She set my heart a-twitter
When she started texting us
But we didn't carry cellphones then
And we were on a bus



Jackie Gleason at the wheel
And Jackie Wilson next
Too much static on the line
Did she say no or yes?
She'll meet us at the next tour stop
Try to make the scene
And bring with her two Jersey Girls
Nadine and Maybelline




They'll sing their little ditty
'Bout their boyfriend coming back
The Osmonds were so white back then
The Jacksons still were black
Marie was only six years old
Donnie had the voice
Now who'd a thunk two-thousand-nine
They'd groove with Jersey Boys...


"May tomorrow be a perfect day
May you find love and laughter along the way
May God keep you in His tender care
'Til He brings us together again..."

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